UFO Skeptic. Part Two. Roswell

Roswell.
This is the UFO Bible. It is difficult for a skeptic because again, there is no evidence.
What do we know? There was a wreck in the desert near an air force nuclear base, that seemingly caught everyone by surprise. The moment the US caught wind of this, it vacuumed up the desert, leaving not trace of what ever crashed.

We know that the radio stations claimed that a downed spaceship had been recovered. And a few days later, the air force changed its story to a downed weather balloon that not even skeptics like me believe.

The stories of dead aliens came later. Indeed much of the stories about artifacts and other such evidence came 30 years later-third hand, AFTER the person in question died. Retireees have come forth and claims amazing things, saying “The government can’t do anything to me now.”
But they all follow the same pattern, no evidence, no proof.

Q) So what really happened?
A) No one knows. But that has never stopped me. So MY answer that follows is pure speculation.

For years I sat on this with no explanation. To explain Roswell one way or the other needs evidence-and there IS none.
It wasn’t until the 1990’s that I think I’ve figured it out.

I saw a rerun of an old seventies documentary. It was about the CIA’s clairvoyance project.
For a secret organization, the CIA was amazingly open about this oh-so-useful program.
Anyone can learn clairvoyance they claimed. Indeed, the news crew was taken INSIDE the CIA headquarters to record an operative describing a top secret Soviet installation. It was even pinpointed on the map!

Now why would the CIA openly show such an operation, and claim clairvoyance was too easy and anybody could learn? The answer is simple. It was a cold war hoax. The Russian spy agencies likely freaked out when they heard an accurate description of a supposedly secret facility! And sure enough, the USSR announced the formation of a psychic research facility shortly thereafter. A TV show was used to waste MILLIONS the soviets would otherwise have spent on the cold war.

Seriously. If the CIA had real clairvoyants…why would they tell anyone?!
But these old programs are the basis for todays New Age Cults using the CIA to prove psychic abilities are easy to learn…just send $15 bucks to this address!

OK back to Roswell. What we saw there was classic Cold War psy-ops. First the air force said we have a spaceship…then they say they don’t….and threaten radio people and newsmen not to publish UFO nonsense. Reverse psychology. People have been talking about Roswell ever since. Certainly the soviets at the time claimed they had downed ships too, but the CIA just laughed, while the commies sweated wondering what military technologies the US would show up with. The follow up is amusing, as the Air Force tried out a number of disc shaped aircraft in the years afterwards. Notice we never used those designs. We may never know how many commie spies were caught trying to steal US UFO secrets, but I’m betting it drew them like moths to the flame.

As for the spy balloon, the US knows it sounds like a cover up, and thats why they stick with it.
If a balloon really crashed on that ranch, tourists would still be picking up pieces today. The govt would only have taken the secret stuff-cameras and such.

So I dismiss Roswell based on three factors
1) lack of evidence
2) Cold War in full swing (my opinion)
3) The stories are TOO good, TOO well scripted (my opinion)

How I would investigate UFOs.

First I would hold a bunch of bake sales and put that fifth mortgage on my house. This will be expensive.
1) Get a bunch of retired police Forensic investigators and scientists. They are the A-Team.
2) The moment I hear about a UFO LANDING, I would fly the a-Team out to the site! If these guys can catch a killer with DNA from a strand of hair on a bush, they can gather evidence from a landing site.
3) Soil samples will tell how wet the earth was at the time of the landing. Measuring how deep the landing pads are, we can tell how heavy the spaceship is.
4) Landings mean ships on the ground. Heavy objects leave impressions. So do alien footprints. Gallons of Plaster of Paris can make impressions of ships, landing pads and dainty alien feet.
5) Who better to find strands of alien hair, and dropped alien matchbooks that a cop? The results will be turned into an active forensics lab to study between working criminal cases.
6) Even if the massive gov’t conspiracy finds that alien flashlight first, we’ll have real evidence to present FOX News. I don’t think Katie Couric could handle such a revelation. This is a job for GERALDO!